Oh my goodness. Prepping my turkey for tomorrows Friendsgiving was probably one of the grossest things I’ve done since… well I’m not sure. But I learned several things while trying to make it ready for cooking tomorrow.
1. The texture of uncooked meat makes me squeegy. Yes, squeegy, as in squirmy, icky, and ew all combined.
2. Uncooked meat can still bleed. As in, I was trying to remove a stupid wire from the turkey and the leg started bleeding, completely freaking me out and making me jump away from the sink, take a deep gulping breath, and renegotiate my contract on life with the deities that be. Gross.
3. I do not have enough upper body strength to properly prepare and heft a 10 lbs turkey. Coming back to the wire inserted in my turkey… I wish I’d taken a picture of this contraption. The instructions said “push inward, squeeze together, and then yank.” Very helpful. The problem is, the drumsticks themselves prevented any type of pushing in, and while squeezing the blasted thing together with all my might, there was no way I could also yank. I’m still not sure how I got the thing out, but see above about making dead meat bleed. (Shudder). Then there was the problem of trying to hoist the turkey up and “rinse thoroughly” to remove the last of the brine I had soaked it in all day. Balancing a ten pound turkey in one hand while trying to gently waft it under flowing water, not let it touch the sides of the sink, and not splash everything is tricky. My arms hurt. I failed numerous times.
4. The turkey has two body cavities, both stuffed with things that made me want to heave.
On that lovely image, I’m off to bed. The delightful fruit pudding is made and so is the whisky cream sauce to pour over the store bought pecan pie. Yum! I’m not going to think about actually having to cook the turkey tomorrow. I still feel a little nauseated.
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