How To Wash An EXTRA Large Dog Bed

Why does my extra-large dog bed need washed you may ask?  Because an 8 pound prophet of doom and destruction, otherwise known as Ket, peed on it!  You heard me right.  Peed on it.  There was much anger in my house today. 

Anyways.  How to wash an extra-large dog bed….

1. Notice pee. Scream!  Scoop up the dog bed and run with it into the bathroom before the pee dribbles off onto the rug, which SOMEONE inevitably peed on later. 

2. Squirt some laundry detergent into the tub then run hot water.

3. Remember it is trash day, run outside to take out the recycling and trash and forget the water is running.  Almost flood house.  

4. Scream!  Run into the bathroom and turn off the water. Drain a little excess away.

5. Put the dog bed, which is big enough that your first born could theoretically sleep on it (i.e. it would never fit in the washing machine or dryer), into the tub.  

6. Realize this plan might not have been thought through very clearly. 

7. Swish dog bed around to the extent the tub allows.  Watch dog bed shed.  Yes, shed.  It wasn’t all Oliver’s hair.  

8. Deny urge to abandon ship and make hot chocolate with three times the amount of coco mix called for and two shots of rum. 

 

9. Rinse bed in same manner as washed bed, just without laundry detergent and in cold water. 

  

10.  Have second realization of the night.  A waterlogged dog bed is considerably heavier than a dry dog bed.  This one now weighs about as much as the dog himself.  

11. Let dog bed sit in the tub and go get the cloths rack that you have, in a fit of genius, decided to put in the bathtub and hoist the dog bed on top of so it can drip dry overnight.  

12. Laugh hysterically as the drying rack begins falling apart and coming askew.  Weep a little.

13.  Fix drying rack.

14. Hoist and heave at sopping wet dog bed until it is on top of the drying rack.  Hold breath as drying rack almost collapses, but holds.

15. Turn on space heater to speed the drying process.  

16.  Re-think life in general. 

Don’t I make sharing your life with a dog sound great?  Actually, it is.  Little dogs just aren’t good at house training.  Oliver hasn’t had an accident in the house since... since he got a stomach bug.  We'll leave it at that.  

Love ya!