Poem: A Little Less

So I have decided to start posting some of my writing on this blog.  This terrifies me as I am my own worst critic and don't think most of my work is fit for human consumption.  But I am in a phase where I am trying to face my fears and embrace delusions of grandeur while accepting that I will fail, a lot, and look like an absolute fool, but that all this is okay.  Writing is a solitary thing and I have heard repeatedly from all types of writers that sharing your work is crucial for growth. 

Now, having said all that nice stuff about facing fears, I am starting by posting my "poetry."  Poetry is something I play around with but it is not my main medium.  So I am facing a fear, but not putting my bleeding heart out there with my novels and short stories.  At least not yet.  Enjoy.  Feel free to give me feedback, or not, as you feel moved. Or not. 

A Little Less   

In the mirror framed in painted wood.

On her wall.

We reflect.

His tiny face turned into my heart beat.

Mouth working a cupid's bleat.  Looking for my nipple.

I cannot stop staring.  Cupping

His small head. 

                       

So this is love.

This not-mine baby.

For whom I have.  

No say.

Just a murmur of

Mother-speak.

An ache.  

That moment,

I loved her less. 

Not because love is limited.

My love breeds like rabbits.

But for bringing such a small soul

Into a world.

She can’t handle.  

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Let me give you a glimpse of how I work.  I've been staring at the screen for the last hour tweaking two lines over and over trying to assuage the gut feeling that I am jumping off a cliff.  So here is the latest permutation of this poem.  I think I'm overusing big words to make up for feeling insecure with my creativity.  

Thanks for bearing with this post!